“I went from the excitement of thinking about life beyond motherhood to grappling with the unexpected.”
Hi. I’m Lisa and I live in Oakland, California with my husband, Josh, three girls, Ella (b. 2002), Ruby (b. 2005) and Lilah (b. 2011) and Sadie, our Australian Labradoodle.
Yes, there is a big gap between my middle and my youngest and no, I didn’t plan it that way. At 41, after three years of trying for a third and one official miscarriage, my doctor said I couldn’t conceive naturally. We cried, decided not to pursue IVF and counted our blessings.
While the news was sad, it was also a release. I’d thrown myself full-time and headlong into motherhood when my second came along. Six years later, I no longer knew who I was beyond “mom.”
With the decision made to stick at two, I could finally imagine the next phase of my life. My husband and I started making grand plans — let’s make wine in France! Let’s sail around the world! Let’s skydive! — and I gave thought to more down-to-earth ones, like figuring out what I wanted to be when I grew up. The possibilities felt endless and wonderful and scary.
Three months later I was pregnant.
Now, here I am, sorting through the challenges of midlife, nostalgically pondering my own coming-of-age-years and searching for balance with one parenting foot in the rollercoaster realm of teens while the other is firmly planted in the more familiar land of early childhood. There’s tumult and joy, rearranging and rethinking, but most of all, a deep sense of coming into myself.
Welcome to Flingo.
P.S. The name Flingo comes from my darling middle daughter Ruby. That’s what she called flamingos when she was around two. It reminds me of all the words we use, real or made up, when we’re working to tell the truth.
I’d love to hear from you! You can reach me via email or leave a comment below.