Hi. I’m Lisa and I live in Oakland, California with my husband, Josh, three girls, Ella (b. 2002), Ruby (b. 2005) and Lilah (b. 2011) and Sadie, our Australian Labradoodle.
Yes, there is a big gap between my middle and my youngest and no, I didn’t plan it that way. At 41, after three years of trying for a third and one official miscarriage, my doctor said I couldn’t conceive naturally. We cried, decided not to pursue IVF and counted our blessings.
While the news was sad, it was also a release. I’d thrown myself full-time and headlong into motherhood when my second came along. Six years later, I no longer knew who I was beyond “mom” and I didn’t have a plan for finding myself.
With the decision made to stick at two, I could finally imagine the next phase of my life. My husband and I started making grand plans — let’s make wine in France! Let’s sail around the world! Let’s skydive! — and I gave thought to more down-to-earth ones, like figuring out what I wanted to be when I grew up. The possibilities felt endless and wonderful and scary.
Three months later I was pregnant.
I went from the excitement of creating a life beyond motherhood to grappling with the unexpected. Now, here I am, sorting through the challenges of midlife, nostalgically pondering my own coming-of-age-years, looking for clues, and trying to find balance with one parenting foot in the rollercoaster realm of tweens and teens while the other is firmly planted in the more familiar land of early childhood. There’s tumult and joy, rearranging and rethinking, but most of all, a deep sense of coming into myself. It’s not always an easy journey, this midife-marriage-grown-up life, but it’s the one I’m on and I’m grateful you’re here with me.
Welcome to Flingo.
P.S. The name Flingo comes from my darling middle daughter Ruby. That’s what she called flamingos when she was 2, flingos. It reminds me of all the words we use, real or made up, when we struggle to say what is really true.