On Mamalode: The Push and Pull of Motherhood

There are points in time when my kids are my life. They are what I’m doing all the time. When they were babies and then little people, this was certainly the case and for the most part, I gave myself over to motherhood. I didn’t always like it, resented it some days, wanted to run and hide some days, but I was always there with them. Accessible.

Now, with my youngest turning four in a few weeks and my two older ones 10 and 13, I occasionally find myself with more than an arm’s length between me and them. I delight in it, that taste of wholeness and freedom and self-ness. Then, just like that, there’s one in my lap, one calling me from her room, one who wants to play gin rummy. I snuggle them, heed the call, say yes to the game because I know it won’t last forever. Still, I long for myself, even as I dive into motherhood for those minutes and hours, days and years.

My essay about the push and pull of motherhood is up on Mamalode. So grateful to share my story there.

6 comments on “On Mamalode: The Push and Pull of Motherhood

  1. katieg1017

    Hi! Just want to say I love your work. I have only have one 13 month old daughter at the moment, but I already feel what you’re saying…I desire my old self, and as soon as I start to settle in, she pulls me right out! I have a long way to go, don’t I? LOL.

    I see your writing appear all over the place, I love reading your perspective on motherhood!
    Thanks for writing!

    p.s. I was just published on Mamalode recently as well 🙂


    • Oh Katie thank you so much! It’s great to connect with you. It really is a challenge to integrate who we are as moms with who we are. Heading over to Mamalode now to read your piece…


  2. Gorgeous. I can totally relate.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: